And, it’s not to say that an insensitive man doesn’t have a sensitive side.He’s probably capable; it’s just that he may not have been taught how to be sensitive.In fact, any form of socializing has the potential to deplete these stores. You get to meet complete strangers (not always our strongest suit), who will then subject you to a barrage of intensely personal questions and judge you! There is good news too, but let’s get the bad news out of the way first. He said, “You can’t fuck up soul mates.” Write that down, and put it in your pocket. You should never feel bad for treating them as such, and don’t let anyone tell you different. You can use subtle ways to tell your profile visitors you are introverted, without standing on a mountain top and screaming down a declaration for the masses.
I used to have a friend who’d say, “Dating is nothing but a numbers game.” She believed that going on more dates was equivalent to a higher likelihood of falling in love. However well-intentioned it may be, it flies in the face of a major factor essential to an introvert’s well-being—alone time. So yes, you will have times when sitting across from another human being, you’ll feel you’d rather pull out your molars without Novocaine than think of another word to say to this person. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You will have days when unexpected issues arise at work, your cat gets sick, a family member calls with an emergency, or a friend emails with the last-minute favor to which you have to say yes because they helped you out last week.
It might sound pretty reasonable when you first hear it except for the fact that it’s utter bullshit. It took me years of dating before I finally started ignoring this type of “practical” advice. For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, would this date be just as bad? As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. If you have a date scheduled that evening and you just can’t go, so be it.
I like to drop little hints throughout my online profile about how much I value my quiet time; this roots out any suitors prowling for a party girl.
I mention that I tend to spend many hours reading and that I like book recommendations.
Having lived and learned you probably now know that those “sensitive” types you may have rejected when you were younger are actually the kind of guys you should be dating. Because as you’ve matured, you’ve also realized that sensitive guys are usually much nicer and easier to get along with. Good communication is necessary for a happy, healthy, long-lasting relationship.
If you stop communicating, hold grudges, place blame, keep score, or try to constantly one-up each other it can become problematic—which is why sensitivity is a crucial trait in a partner. Or were you more likely to go for the outgoing, charismatic type?Sensitive guys were probably those guys you were friends with…the ones you could lean on and pour your heart out too, but were more often than not relinquished to the “friend zone” during those formative dating years.She enjoys snowboarding, hiking, rock climbing, and is a dedicated Barre convert and passionate about animals.She's been blessed to have had the opportunity to live and travel abroad, and still has a lengthy bucket list of countries she wishes to see and experience. Since that never happens to me (and because it made me feel like a bouncy, shiny-haired cheerleader for the first time ever), I pushed myself to accept all the offers. If awful dates, which your friends seem to be able to turn into funny anecdotes on a dime, seem catastrophic to you, that’s okay too. And while we’re on the subject of dating fears, it’s okay if you want to cancel.